Lifestyle

In the dungeon of a dominatrix

Interview with Mistress Dominique Danger.
May 03, 2017

After the success of "50 Shades of Gray", a lot of couples got curious about indulging in some BDSM. Dominique Danger is an internationally renowned dominatrix based in the United States; This scenographer of the forbidden kindly answered our questions and introduced us to the voluptuous universe of perversity.

 

How can you explain the desire of some people to be dominated or dominant with his / her partner and to experience pleasure through suffering? 

Love, sex, pain and violence all stimulate the release of similar chemicals in the human body. Endorphins that are released in painful experiences are often perceived as pleasurable by some. Pain can also stimulate the serotonin and melatonin production in the brain, which transforms painful experiences into pleasurable ones.  Normal human biological response actually supports the complex link between pain and pleasure, which we see in the facial expressions of partners during orgasmic release.

Given our biology, it is not terribly surprising that the practice of combining painful techniques with sexuality dates as far back as the Kama Sutra practices that have come to be known as BDSM. This acronym, which refers to Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism, reflects the ancient sexual rituals of sexual dominance and submission that have qualified sex throughout history.

Looking at how our sexual experience is mirrored in the emotions and soul of our relationship offers an illuminating perspective. Loving someone emotionally creates the same pain/pleasure experience that lives in the body while having sex with them. The moments of deep connection and intimacy and vulnerability are matched by their opposite experience: feeling deeply hurt by your lover.

The act of loving in whatever form requires a willingness to experience both the pain and pleasure of  love to varying degrees, hence the assigned roles that define these tangled dynamics between partners willing to explore the more complex aspects of their sexuality in an effort to experience interpersonal connections at a whole new level.

 

There seems to be two forms of domination, physical domination, and mental domination? 

The art of sexual dominance and submission starts as a thought, an exchange of roles between two consenting adults who have discussed limitations and expressed their desire to expand their horizons and push past their boundaries. Partners will naturally fall into their assigned roles where play becomes more of a life altering experience with two people exploring the far more complex aspects of human sexuality as it manifests itself outside of inhibited bedroom pastimes, employed by vanilla mainstream.

 

Are there any tips to bring the subject of these sexual games with his / her partner? 

A willingness to keep an open mind and think outside the confines of tradition will encourage honesty and transparency between partners. There should be no reservations when it comes to discussing any and all sexual practices behind closed doors with the objective of maintaining the spice In life and the excitement surrounding the exploration or carnal pleasures between partners.

 

Before entering into the "BDSM" experience, should partners implement rules? Which ones? 

Both partners should discuss in full detail their aspirations, desires, needs, and intentions behind the pursuit of a more raw and uninhibited sexual experience. After attaining a familiar and comfortable level of comfort founded in the deep rooted understanding of one another's needs, certain guidelines and rules must be set in place to ensure the safety of whatever novel sexual practices are to be implemented into a play scene. This is where we introduce the use of safe words that will serve as an integral part of a scene between two people with a desire to push past physical limitations  . Safe words are discussed between all parties, and are an audible queue that someone has ventured past their comfort zone. When a partner resorts to the use of these words, the scene must come to a complete hault and all play must cease immediately. These words should be unique and not routinely used during sexual practices. Common examples would include "Yellow" indicating a limit is being approached  and "Red" indicating that the limit has been reached.

 

Can the dominant / dominated roles be reversed? 

This can happen under certain circumstances. The term is referred to as Switching where a Dominant may take the role of a Submissive or vise versa. This may happen when either party has a desire to push and explore personal boundaries with a partner that they are comfortable with. The willingness to switch for certain tops despite the rigidity with which some may adhere to their assigned roles in these dynamics, is a profound expression of trust that builds a deep rooted understanding and lifelong bonds between two people.  

 

Is one Dominant or Dominated by nature?

Whether a person is Dominant or Submissive is a combination of nature and nurture. Nature dictates certain characteristics that can be passed down such a hormonal influences making certain people more aggressive. Nurturing aspects such as parental influences, upbringing, religion, politics, culture, life circumstances and chosen paths also have a profound effect on the mental state of an individual and where they may fall on the spectrum defining dominant or Submissive personalities.  So in my opinion, the power exchange dynamic is a fluid one, it's limitations and stipulations defined by whatever level of comfort is attained in a relationship between two people. Personal growth and experience are very important factors influencing self defining roles. Certain insecurities may lead to reservations that in turn may result in inhibitions that breed fear in individuals, putting a significant damper on ones ability to evolve in their sexuality and explore their deepest darkest desires without reservation. 

 

What is the real difference between domination and sadism?

Domination is the act of exercising supremacy, preeminence or a controlling influence over another. Sadism is a form of domination that defines ones tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation onto someone. Sexual Domination is the root of or the basis upon which all various forms of play are founded. Domination is a very diverse construct, which primarily entails a dominant's understanding of a receiving partner's needs and their ability to influence them in a positive fashion that is rewarding and gratifying emotionally, physically and psychologically for both parties. 

 

Do you think the movie "50 shades of Grey" initiated couples to the SM experience? And is it a good example? 

I would say it is not a good example, because the Dominant is portrayed as having deep rooted psychological disturbances that have led to his devient sexual nuances. But as many couples are searching for their next thrill in the bedroom, this would open up new avenues for self exploration. But I would highly recommend a more thorough understanding of this lifestyle and its principles to anyone looking to embark on a journey into uncharted territories where sensitive sexual practices are concerned.

 

Do you personally feel pleasure dominating? 

Absolutely. The elite art of Sadomasochism is not only a professional but a lifestyle choice for me. I employ most BDSM practices and principles in all my interpersonal relationships. 

 

Would you ever "go to the other side" and try being submissive ? 

All hired Professionals are expected to have spent time on the receiving end, where I am concerned, so that they may learn to relate to the experiences, and understand the needs, fears and struggles of a submissive. I have experienced both sides of the whip in My training as a prerequisite.

 

What does a normal session with you include? 

Whatever form of Safe, Sane, and Consensual play that my partner would like to explore within the constraints of previously discussed boundaries and limitations. As a professional, I partake in every scene with the sole intent of helping individuals expand their horizons, by safely assisting them in pushing past personal limitations and inhibitions in an effort to provide a completely raw and liberated sexual experience that would otherwise be suppressed.

 

Is it just a game, the time of a session?

During a power exchange people are at their most vulnerable therefore there is no aspect of safe BDSM play that is to be taken lightly.  

 

As a Dominant, are there any forms of sexual games that are banished? 

You cannot play outside the limitations of your partner. All interactions of this nature are founded upon Safe, Sane and consentual practices. Both partners must play within the confines and Constraints of previously set and discussed boundaries in a safe and controlled environment. 

 

What's the strangest thing a customer has ever requested?  

One essential principle in practicing the elite art of Sadomasochism on a professional level is ensuring the discretion and privacy of the client. Sharing details on any experience might not invoke the appropriate response from the masses which could be discouraging or damaging to anyone reading who can relate especially if the experience is not received positively, therefore I will kindly refrain from such discussions. But if i were to express a general consensus with regards to this subject, I would say that just when I thought I had seen it all somebody just blows me out of the water with a uniquely perverse request. There is something to appreciate about people's kinks and sexually deviant nuances and I have had the privilege of meeting some of the most interesting characters in my line of work. I have delved deep into the human psyche and lived through each and every experience shared with me as though it were my own which has enabled me to witness humanity in all its complexities  at a more profound level.

 

What type of men call your services? 

Men from all walks of life, ethnicities, ages, nationalities, political and religious affiliations employ my services.

 

Do you also have female or couples customers?  

My services are available to males, females, couples, transgenders and groups.

 

What does your husband feel about this business? 

My husband's opinion holds no merit. As My submissive, it Is My opiniom, and mine alone that matters.

 

We often talk about the contract between the Dominant and dominated, what is it really about? 

The contract is simply a list of rules and regulations governing various forms of play, put in place and agreed upon by all consenting parties just like any other binding contractual agreement. 

 

Do you have a crispy anecdote you’d like to share with us? 

Screw the Roses, give me the thorns...sums up My life perfectly and gives a broad and general perspective on my experiences without violating the privacy and discretion upon which these practices are founded. 

 

Finally, what advice would you give to couples who would like explore the BDSM world? 

Drop by my official homepage and read up to gain a deeper understanding of the lifestyle and itsI am happy to address any inquiries, feel free to email me at Dominique.danger@live.com.  I am happy to address any concerns you may have. 

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